Our Story

This is the story of first loves that were separated against their will and reunited over 20 years later. The happily ever after was not without tragedy. While living in the midst of a romantic reunion, that we had prayed for our whole lives, we were dealt once again a bad hand. We suffered the loss of our blue eyed baby boy, Ryder, at 21 months for reasons that are still undetermined, and we may never know this side of Heaven. It was tragic and unexpected, but through God’s help, we were able to pull through and be more in love today. I hope that God will use our story to help others who have experienced loss in their own journey, to find hope, happiness, and peace again in their story. He promises to give you the desires of your heart if you put him first. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4. In our case, it took over twenty years, but he made it into a wonderful story. Our story,  full of love, loss, heartache, and hope, that came around full circle.          Just the fact that our blue eyed boy ever made it into this world was a miracle in itself. You see, almost 27 years ago, I stood in front of Ryder’s Dad crying as he was wiping the tears from my eyes. I had just moved home from a year in Charleston, living with my Father, and we had spent the afternoon pleading with my Mother and Step Father to allow us to see each other again. This was our first time seeing each other after being separated for a year, and the little time that we spent together  was an emotional roller coaster. Earlier in the day, we met at his house. I walked up to his house as he was standing in the doorway. I was unsure of the reaction he would have, since we had not spoken at all for over a year, but just like I thought, that feeling of love and excitement just came flooding back. This was it, the moment I had dreamed about, we were back together. When I was sent to live with my Dad, we thought that our relationship was over. We had no choice as we were torn from each other’s lives so abruptly a year earlier, and we had to accept the fact that my new life would be in Charleston and I would never return. We embraced each other for what seemed like an hour. It felt so exciting and yet so familiar, as if we picked up right where we left off. After spending some time catching up, we knew in the excitement of the moment that we would have to face my parents. We left his house and walked to mine, just down the road, and ended up in my living room pleading our case.My parents listened to us, but it was a resounding no. How could this be happening? We were so excited and now my heart was breaking right in front of them once again.                                                                                                                                                                     A year prior to this was the year 1989. We were just a couple of kids that were head over heals in love with each other, first loves in fact. The kind of love that you never forget, so innocent, so pure, not yet jaded by heartache or betrayal. The way love was meant to be. At the time we met, he was being raised by his Aunt and Uncle and I visited his cousin often, she was one of my best friends. One day he decided to walk me home and that is where it all began. As we walked up in my driveway, and he  was turning to leave, he stopped and moved in for a first kiss. I was so full of emotion. On top of the world. This tall dark and handsome young man was interested in me and the feeling was mutual.  From that day forward, we were together everyday. My Mom was a single mom raising my sister and I, and she had just started going to church. She allowed us to “date” as long as he went to church with us, so he did. We went on weekdays and weekend nights, whatever it took to be together. But soon, that wasn’t enough. We began to sneak around and meet at different places so we could see each other more. I had never experienced a love like this and somehow I just knew that he was “the one”. He was worth the trouble I would be in if we got caught.

Then it happened, my Mother found out that we were seeing each other outside of the boundaries. We had become to close and in a relationship that was unacceptable at our age. And just like Romeo and Juliet, we didn’t let that stop us even if it meant that we had to continue to sneak around. Every chance we had, we were together and I was living a life behind my mother’s back. We knew that it was risky, but it was our whole world, and we couldn’t live without each other no matter the cost. But then the cost caught up to us, we were caught red handed in our house by my Mother. In the wee hours of the morning, she called my father and told him that he would have to come and get me. I would have to move to Charleston. Two hours away with no cell phones, no internet, no free long distance calls…the chance of communication was non existent especially with the distance involved. We were devastated when we heard her say that to my Father, and we made a split second decision to run away. We fled out the back door and down the road to an abandoned house.